We sat out on the porch this morning. First day of winter, and there we are sitting in the cool darkness with coffee and oatmeal. For the moment it’s warm enough, and drizzling, but the forecast is for it to turn to snow by tomorrow. Perhaps we will have a White Christmas.
I find that as I’m recovering from being ill, I’m much more inclined to be in the mood for festivities. I finished wrapping gifts last night, and although I might pick up one more thing for the Little Man’s stocking, that’s it for under the tree. I should take a picture of it.
Looking out past the tree, into the depths of the cold dark that is winter, I’m reminded that I’ve dealt a lot less with SAD since I came to Ohio. Some of that is surely the fact that I’ve been too busy at this time of year for me to feel the blues. Some is likely being out of New England, as I wanted to be for so long, and added to that… it’s been five years since the First Reader and I acknowledged that we were meant for one another and that we’d start working toward being together in space as well as mind. We had no idea at that time it would be accomplished six months later, or that we’d make it formal two years after that. I suspect that has a lot to do with my lack of sadness on a daily basis.
Winter here is not like winter was before. I sometimes miss the ability to ski (never downhill. I’ve done cross-country since I was eleven) and snowshoe. There is a truly magical feeling to being out in the deep snow in the forest, with a hushed silence hanging over you as the snow fell. It’s like being inside one of those snow-globes. I do miss that. I don’t miss the constant slush and ice and salt and sand of driving to work in winter. I don’t miss the cold air biting deeply into me, and the fear of what-if-the-furnace-craps-out that haunted me for years.
It’s not that I’m looking forward to winter, mind you. I’d much rather have bugs and flowers to photograph, and be able to take hikes without worry over hypothermia. But I’m not in fear of it, either. Work, being in a windowless lab, will make it feel like it did all summer. Only on the way to and from will I have to deal with the weather. And on weekends I can hole up at home.. oh, who am I kidding. Weekends are usually frenetic. Errands, stuff, kids, it’s all part and parcel.