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Review: Aeviternus Adventures

Teresa Perin sent me her book for review. I’m not sure whether the title is “The Elements” or “Aeviternus Adventures” since one is on the front cover and the other is on the spine. I first became aware of Teresa through the really cute blog she does about her goats. Having been raised with goats, I’m rather fond of the little monsters, although I also have horror stories about how baad they can be.

I hadn’t read any reviews of her book, so when it arrived I set it on the to-read pile, and it languished there. I’ve been too busy, as you know, to do a proper review for weeks, and also, this is a paper book, and I have been finding it easier to read ebooks on the fly. Last night, I finally got around to the book. It was… not what I had expected.

Look, if you are a grown-up fan of Wonderland, wish you could go through the lookingglass with Alice, or fly off to Oz with Dorothy, and you also want to have your fantasy worlds with lots of sex, then this is the book for you. I once read a fanfic about Dorothy and her travelling companions that this book reminded me a lot of. (No, I will not provide a link.)

Don’t be fooled by the opening, this is not a YA novel, or even New Adult. We leap into bed with the female protagonist and have pro-forma casual sex with the boyfriend who immediately after, still lying in bed, dumps her. Fortunately, Jilly isn’t silly enough to let this get her down for long, and by the time she gets home from college she is so over him.

In chapter two our heroine, accompanied by a dairy goat and a favorite cat, inexplicably falls through the darkness into a place where she can talk to the animals, something that bothers her not at all. Like Alice in Wonderland, she curiously sets out to explore. She journeys through this magic land (which is stuck in feudalism as so many fantasies are), encountering magical beings and having orgies with them. In return for the sex, she is granted powers, which is evidently why she continues to do this even after becoming romantically involved with a human.

The people in the book all want to take care of her, unless they want to enslave her. Those who want to take care of her, no matter their rank or status, bend over backward for this odd, very young woman in their midst. An example is here: “Jillian smiled and suggested, ‘you might want to rethink your policy on banning all magic.’

“The king shook his head in disbelief. ‘I’ll be. Who’d have thought magic could be so powerful and good?’”

At the end of the book, after Jillian has managed to return to Earth, because college is so much more important than her new-found lover and magic, she is called back into the land of Aeviternus. There she has more sex, adventures, finds out that she is the Chosen One, is almost raped to death, but because she is rescued, instead has more sex. Finally, Jillian arrives with her travelling companions to rebuild the Magical Commune, confident that together they can accomplish anything…

Sadly, I didn’t get into this book. It just wasn’t my cup of tea, but for those looking for some titillation and talking animals (did I mention the talking camel?) then this may be right up your alley. Yes, the dialogue is wooden, but that’s not why you would be reading this book, anyway.

6 thoughts on “Review: Aeviternus Adventures

  1. I debated before leaving this comment, but it is so distressing to me that you’ve written such grossly inaccurate comments about my novel that I cannot let it go. While you are entitled to dislike my novel and me as much as you want, you cannot post libelous statements on the Internet. Most distressing, is your claim that the main character is “almost raped to death.” There is never a time in the novel that the main character is raped, much less nearly to death. Because of this horribly inaccurate statement (along with several other items that are just not accurate), I am asking that you remove your review from the Internet.

    1. Teresa, in the encounter with the giant Yioki at the end of the book, he rapes the other woman to death and tells Jillian she’s next, in so many words. I don’t know if that is what you had in mind when you wrote that scene, but it is clearly what comes across. As for removing the review, I’m sorry, but I have written an accurate review of the book.

      I certainly do not dislike you, and a bad review of your book is not a reflection on you personally. When you become a public persona, you are going to occasionally have statements made about your work that you do not agree with. I am fairly sure I have not libeled you, nor your work.

      Please let me know what, specifically, you feel I have been inaccurate about, and I can correct them if necessary.

    2. Teresa,

      You seem to be suffering from a terrible misunderstanding of what “libel” actually is. Here’s a hint: it is bloody difficult to write a libelous book review. A review is simply that: the reviewers impressions of a piece.

      Making lawsuit noises and trying to have material that embarrasses you taken down marks you as the braying donkey, not the reviewer. If you wanted to convince readers to avoid anything with your name attached, you could hardly have chosen a more effective method than this.

      If you think Cedar misinterpreted your book, well, guess what? That’s your fault too. Every book stands on its own, and if people don’t see what you think they should, then you didn’t write it well enough.

      For your own sake, back off and stop the “libel” nonsense. The review isn’t, and all you’re doing is making yourself enemies.

  2. Teresa, if this review doesn’t get you the readers that will _enjoy_ your book, nothing will. And believe me, you do not want people to buy your book expecting one type of thing and getting talking animals and orgies. _That_ will show you just how baaaad a review can be.

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