Curmudgeon's Corner, fiction, writing

The Field Guide to North American Writers

naturalist lineart
In search of the elusive Writer hackus…

Byline: Sanford Begley

So you want to join the ranks of Writer watchers, do you? You have your Binocs, jungly style outfit with shorts and a pith helmet? Ahh… you are missing the field guide. Well, I am here to rectify that problem. The first thing you need to do is discover how to differentiate between the species of writer.

First we will discuss the Writer pseudocoffehouses, This breed can be found, usually,  in company with the Artist negligiblus. Both will be in a public place ostentatiously giving out their territorial cry of “Ima writer” “I’m an artist” “I’m deep and sensitive”. This type of writer, much like his artistic companion, can be recognized by their lack of output And stories of being misunderstood.

The next type of writer is the Writer literati, Their native habitat is the Public University, while superficially similar to the Writer pseudocoffeehouses in attire and lack of real talent the W. literati normally has a fairly large output. This is carefully placed with vanity presses catering to universities and preserved on shelves, never to see the light of day. A subspecies can be found in NYC publishing houses where their output goes on to the shelves of bookstores and the truly parasitical nature…

{Read More at the Otherwhere Gazette}