Here in a few minutes I’ll be headed out to take my daughters to the train station. They came up on Friday, and we’ve had a great weekend together. As space and time between us widens, I miss them, but I’m also deeply happy they are finding their own way in the world. It was good to have them back with their brother for a few days. Listening to the familiar sibling bickering put a smile on my face for a change.
It’ll be a while before we can do this again, as we plan to move, they are moving a month after we are, and then there’s all the settling in for both sets of households. Perhaps for the holidays we can get it together again. In the meantime we chat, and text, and sometimes call. But they both work (one of them two jobs at the moment) and I work and it’s hard to coordinate times when talking can happen. Which is why there’s a family discord server so we can message at random times. I’m glad to have it. My sister and I spent years barely connecting, and now we talk almost daily by messages. Less worry about interrupting the other, when you send a message that can be read at any time and responded to when possible – I owe her a little write-up on seeing God through molecular biology, for instance, but she knows the girls were here and doesn’t mind that delay a bit.
I’ve never been the most maternal person. I’m not one to hover. The girls are 19-almost-20 (Junior Mad Scientist) and 21 (Ginja Ninja) now, and have been living on their own for over a year. During that time they’ve reached out for advice, venting, and occasionally for more substantial help, which we have done our best to offer with no strings. There’s an age when you need to create boundaries so you can finish developing from the support given to a child, but harden off like a plant set out in the sun carefully. Some buffeting from wind strengthens the fibers of their stems, and I want that for them. Not to be broken, but to learn how to bend and grow stronger from the exercised adversity on their characters.
I’m seeing, on this visit, the results of that. One of them has become much more secure in herself. The other has become much more organized and naturally leads, a far cry from her childhood uncertainty. Both of them still relax and play with their brother, though. And buy Pokemon stuffies at the K-Pop shop!
Soon they will be gone, back to work and getting ready for their upcoming move. The apartment will be very quiet again, until we adjust back to just the three of us. About the same time we start to prepare for the upcoming move from here. We are still on track for closing April 11. The new job begins March 28. I’m traveling to FantaSci on March 24th.
It’s going to be a busy, busy spring!
(header image from 2 years ago)