Curmudgeon’s Corner: Friends

written by Sanford Begley

Wings of Summer-2

I’m like most people, I see my faults all too clearly. What I don’t see as clearly are my virtues, like most people on Earth. What virtues I do see are usually the ones no one else notices. In short, I am a typical human, unhappy with myself and the decisions I have made and will make in the future. Even the scathingly brilliant choices worry me that I chose wrong, or get shunted aside with Yeah! But!

One place where time has told me I was correct was in my choices of friends and people to surround myself with. Actually I usually credit that to their being wonderful people who are insane enough to like me. I’m good with that.

So, like everyone else who is a worthwhile human being I get down on myself once in awhile. Okay! Okay! A lot. Sue me, I’m a normal human. I’m willing to bet most of you are pretty much the same. Thing is, I’ve learned a little trick to getting out of the down on myself attitude. I’m willing to share it because, well, because it won’t hurt me and might help you. And because while I may be an ass in many ways, this is not one of them.

You see, let’s go back to my choices in friends and people I share my life with. We’ll start with my ex. Yes I choose to share my life with my ex. We parted friends, and still like each other. Just because you can’t make it as a couple doesn’t mean you have to turn the other person into a demon. They still have the qualities you saw in them in the first place. Unless you just went for their looks in which case you are probably too shallow to have read this far. Remember the good parts and remind them that there were good parts and try to love each other anyway. She is my ex, but she is a good woman too. And having her for a friend is something I am proud of.

As long as we are on the subject of women there is my wife. She is beautiful inside and out, intelligent, creative, and works hard. Like I said earlier, her choice of me makes me wonder about her mental stability, it still makes me happy. I have a partner to challenge life with. Moreover she is intelligent and strong.

Then there is my best friend. He is the most likeable guy I know. The biggest part of his secret of likeability? He genuinely like people. He doesn’t have a hateful bone in his body. When you really do like people , people like you. He is also strongly religious, and my ideal of a Christian, he believes and tries to live the Christian life as an example, without ever pushing it at anyone else. He is a damn good man.

Then there are the many good people from all over the world and all walks of life that I have met on the internet. I am happy to consider many of them friends. I’m not talking about whatever number of FaceBook friends I have, most of those are, at best, acquaintances. I’m talking about those with whom I have actually formed bonds that extend beyond social media. I have cheered when they found a new house, I have mourned with them the loss of loved ones. And they have celebrated my successes as well. When my wife to be announced that we were officially in a relationship we found that we were the last to know.

So yes, I have good friends who are smart, experienced and good people. So when I find myself picking at my faults I think of my friends and their good judgement and wisdom. If they still think I’m a good person I can’t be all that bad. Think of your friends. Do you trust their judgement? If so, rejoice that you are a better person than you think you are.