Eat This While You Read That: G Scott Huggins

So the conversation went something like this… Scott: I don’t know. Something with sausage? Maybe wurst?

Me: I’ll do my wurst for you.

And on that note! You should really read Scott’s book Doctor to Dragons if you appreciate humor. Especially low humor, because the book is about a veterinarian, and if you thought James Herriot was funny with cats, dogs, and cows, this take on dragons, basilisks, and other mythological creatures ought to be right up your alley. I loved it and am hoping for more from Scott.

But this post is about what to do with the animals who die for tasty deaths. Or: a vet’s side-job in a crumbling fantasy city where money is hard to come by and you don’t ask what’s in the sausage. Because this is a recipe for sausage, only it’s more like guidelines. Suggestions, if you will. Techniques… I did say I’d do my wurst.

When you are cutting up tasty, tasty animals, you get steaks and chops and roasts and… a lot of odd little bits that aren’t really big enough to cook by themselves, but you don’t want to waste an ounce of this food. Soup, stew, and the like are great ways to cook the bones and clinging bits to make stock, or what-have-you. But someone back in the mists of time got the great idea to chop up those bits with some flavorings added – seeds, herbs, spices, salt, lots of salt – stuff the resulting mess into some nice clean intestines, and voila! sausage was born.

Green Dragon-with-no-name likes garlic in his sausage.

My Ginja Ninja, who has never made sausage before (although she’s watched me do it when much younger) got in on the fun when we were talking about how to tackle Scott’s tubular challenge to me. We were joking around about dragon sausage (she seemed to think it ought to be blue. Dragon meat is blue? Who knew?) when she told me she wanted to do a Chinese style sausage. So I bought a chunk of meat, the cheap kind with a bone in, and acquired a slightly-more-modern than stone age meat grinder (you’d be amazed what you can find at antique flea markets. Those old bugs sure knew a thing or two).

As a side note, when you are cutting up the store-bought roast, you’ll want to make sure you get all the silverskin and stringy connective tissue cut off, or you will gum up your grinder. Sharpen your knives before you start, unless you are one of those sorts who always has the sharpest knives in the drawer. I am not.  Also, I highly recommend an energetic and interested teenager to provide armstrength and sound effects, not to mention the inevitable innuendo and dirty jokes.

“Schlorp. Sloop… eww!” Giggles

Now, usually you’d grind once on coarse, and then grind again with the herbs and spices and seasonings in. We didn’t. For two reasons: one, the Chinese Sausage recipes I’d looked at, and the ones I’ve eaten, were a coarser grind than most wurst, or brats. (and no, brats are not made of naughty children) Second, the butcher job I did was second-rate and the grinder was giving us fits and it was late and I threw my hands up and called it done. But if you prefer a sausage with less ‘bite’ you will want to grind on coarse, then medium. Fine, if you want breakfast sausage. If you want wurst, like liverwurst, just use the foodprocessor and make it into paste *shudders* and go from there.


What I did instead was grind, then mix in the flavorings by hand. This was roughly 2 lbs of ground meat bits. Dragon? maybe… or maybe dragon’s meat (ie pork). Pigs can fly! when dangling from a dragon’s talons. Added to that was:

  • 8 oz alcoholic citrus drink
  • ground pepper, about 2 tsp
  • salt, about a tablespoon
  • more salt
  • sugar, about 3 tablespoons
  • garlic chili paste about 4 tbsp
  • garlic cloves (these we ground with the meat) (um. maybe a whole bulb? 10 cloves?)

Chinese Sausages are meant to be smoked, or air-dried, and they have a lot of sugar and salt in them to retard microbial growth. Since we were going to fry some up loose, as we lacked a sausage stuffer and casings, we sort of eyeballed the amounts there. I was surprised how well the meat soaked up the liquid, that was good. I was reflecting that it was like marinading the meat. Only there was so much surface area it just sucked it up like a sponge.

Green dragon approves of sausage lo mein.


The flavor was good. I’d add more chilies, for heat, but the Ginja Ninja liked it this way. There was some spice, just not a significant amount. We still have some to experiment with stuffing and smoking, once I have casings in hand. I found a manual stuffer, so that part is taken care of.

We also made about a pound and a half of fresh herb sausage with the other half of the roast. Herbs picked from the garden and ground with the meat, along with a lot of garlic. We like garlic around here.

So now you know what goes into making sausage. If you make some, just don’t tell anyone where the meat came from. During the process, we were explaining to the GN who CMOT Dibbler is… but that’s a different book. Although, if you know who that is, you’ll like Scott’s book. I promise.

Psst… Want some meat onna stick? For more Eat This While You Read That recipes and books, check out the page. You can also join us on Facebook in a group, by searching for the title lead-in.


14 responses to “Eat This While You Read That: G Scott Huggins”

  1. Made me laugh. AND made me hungry

  2. I had a vision of smoked sausages produced by dragon smoke. Then I started wondering about the kinda dragon who’d apply for that job, what the ad would look like and if the dragon would have dietary restrictions so as not to give off flavors to the meat…or are off flavors the point?

    1. Good point. Depends on how your dragon produces his fire. If it’s combustion of methane (swamp gas) Whew! Might not be tasty.

      1. eeewwwwww. That’s very true. Unless it’s something Orcs might find nice.

        1. Oh there’s an idea – niche marketing! BBQ fit for orcs, different flavors for elves, halflings… BBQ humans for those who like ’em.

    2. Oh, and elderly dragons… do they lose their fire? If they can only make smoke, do they take up positions as BBQ smokers?

      1. And so was sung by the bard throughout the land the song of “Puff the Brisket-Making Dragon.” 🙂

      2. That would be a decent retirement job lol .

  3. and what about the Big Green Egg smokers….makes you wonder where they really come from.

  4. Draven Avatar

    sugar to retard microbial growth?

    1. Sugar is part of the curing process, and it’s more to enhance the right sort of bacteria. It’s a bit down the page here:

  5. John in Philly Avatar
    John in Philly

    I wouldn’t be able to turn the grinder’s crank without opening my mouth and doing my air raid siren sound effect thing.
    It is only annoying if you aren’t the person making the noise. Hmm, I may have stumbled upon a deep thought there.

    And who makes walkers for elderly dragons? (yep, I have a mental image)

  6. FOR REAL? You found a meat grinder at a flea market? And it had all the pieces?
    My mama had a meat grinder that only got used once each year, when she made a special Christmas-time chicken salad from an old family recipe. If memory serves, it had a LOT of parts which had to be cleaned.

    What impact does substituting a non-alcoholic citrus drink have? One of my meds has a vicious reaction to ANY amount of alcohol.

    And BTW, my review of the book is found at

    1. I checked to be sure it had all it’s pieces! There were at least four grinders at this market, one didn’t have all the pieces, and this was the cheapest of those which did (and, bonus, most of the original box, which was cool).

      The alcohol in this is because the sausage is meant to be air-dried or smoked and it would have been yet another way to foster the right microbes/keep the population in check. I think any citrusy drink would work if you don’t intend to do that.