Cooking, Food, Humor

Hush, Puppies, Hush

Sad Puppies, hush. Sad Puppies, don’t you cry. Sad Puppies, we’ll tell you a story, and there will be heroes to cheer for, and damsels who can’t be bothered to be distressed, and worlds to wonder and amaze. Sad Puppies, don’t hang your heads and cry.

Hush Puppies
Hush Puppies

Hush Puppies

For snacking while reading the latest adventure novel with the familiar rocket logo on the spine. With a Sensawunda! 

On your stove, heat canola or peanut oil to med-high temps in heavy irony (cast, preferably, and shaped like a dutch oven) 


  • 1 cup corn(y) meal. The cornier the better, just like we like our stories.
  • 1/4 cup flour ground from the bones of the nearest giant.
  • 1 1/2 tsp Baking powder (always keep your powder dry, and remember, there is no overkill, only open fire and reload)
  • 1/2 tsp salt collected from the tears of your enemies.
  • 1 dragon’s egg, beaten like a rented mule.
  • 3/4 cup soured milk of human kindness (or if you prefer, fresh milk)
  • 1 small onion, like an ogre, minced finely
  • Handful of fresh herbs, chopped finely like the reputations of your enemies.

Mix the ingredients together to form a stiff batter, and form quenelles with two spoons to drop into the hot oil. Cook a few at a time, removing when they are golden-brown. Eat fresh and hot.

Hush puppy batter
Thick batter, so they hold a shape.

You could throw in a couple of spoonfuls of salsa, a handful of grated cheese, some hot pepper flakes. These come out savory, oniony, and are a delicious side dish of irony.

Hush Puppies frying
I had about two inches of oil in the pan, it doesn’t need to be very deep.

Hush Puppies might be low-class, no’count, comfort food with no elegance about them. But they are tasty, filling, and you can’t just eat one. Sort of like the books we enjoy. There might be a message in them, but it’s wrapped up in all that corny dough and easy to nom nom nom…

Hushing Puppies is what they want.
Hushing Puppies is what they want.