mosquito

One Step at a Time

 

I’m having one of those days where the ideas are coming, but they are flitting over the surface of my mind like mayflies, and as soon as I fix on one, it dies. Then another pops up in it’s place. If I could capture what was in my head without use of the keyboard or pen… it would be a mess. Part of this could be attributed to needing more coffee. Mostly, it’s that I have been tired all week. One day of bad sleep cascades, and I’m struggling to catch up but still get everything done. Eh. I will eventually. This weekend, maybe. My First Reader has been making noises about too much scheduled on weekends. But it’s the only time I have to get anything done! During the week I come home and barely have the energy to do the minimums. 

I keep telling myself this will get better. I will adjust to the routines, my body will improve if I can get more in shape (if I can find time for the exercise necessary). It can’t just stagger onward like this. 

Or maybe it can. I hope not. It’s a long road I have in front of me, and I’m tired. 

 Don’t misread this. I am not complaining, or at least, no more than a cursory moan. I’m happy, healthy, life is good overall. I have a very decent job, and if it doesn’t offer me much mental stimulation, that’s why I write and make art. Which also take it out of me mentally, and to some extent physically, but it’s a small price I’m willing to pay for my mental health.

It’s just that some days the mayflies emerge and my head is full of a buzzing cloud of shimmering wings and shifting thoughts. Could be worse. Could be cicadas. Or mosquitoes.