As part of the new routine, the First Reader and I have found a new time to spend together. Before I have to be on the road for work – and the sun doesn’t come up until after I am in windowless labs for the day, which makes walking outside at lunchtime an interesting experience – he and I will sit together on the porch in the pre-dawn calm, talking.
It’s not just that I love him and want to be with him – I do, and it’s a big part of this – it’s that we are best friends, and we are co-parents, and this little time to sit and discuss the home front is vital to nurturing both our souls. Sometimes we’re discussing long-range plans, as we were the other day. Other times we’re talking about topics like “Is English the most nuanced language in the world?” The First Reader maintains that it is, because it is so varied, complex, and has no qualms about stealing from other languages if it needs something, or just to amuse itself.
With both of us working full-time and sometimes extra time, not to mention commute time, together time is precious.
We often get a little time in the light, but that is family time on the porch, now that spring has arrived and the warmer weather. I pulled into the driveway yesterday to find tents had sprung upon the lawn like mushrooms. My son came running out to tell me he’d set up my tent and his, preparing for the camping trip he and his buddies are having this coming week. I sat on the porch with my husband, watching the child and the dog play, and life was good.
Romance is in these moments, where your souls commune in the dark and still times, far more than any cut flowers and chocolates can convey. The times where you talk about nothing at all, or the most urgent and important of topics, those are the times you remember why you knit your life with his, and recall what brought you two together as one. It’s not that we are always in harmony, we often have disagreements, but it’s that we calmly sit and discuss those, and I’m not afraid to follow when he puts his head into the bedroom when I am dressing, and offers a cup of coffee with his request to come sit and talk.
Coffee, calm, and conversation. This is what love looks like.