Cedar Sanderson

Salad, School, and other Infinite Variables

So I was making a salad, for the Eat This While you Read That! post in which I feature the erudite and entertaining Chuck Gannon and his science fiction. If you want to find out more about the recipe and how salads can be infinite, click on over to the Otherwhere gazette. This post is more about my feeling overwhelmed and daunted at the tasks I have before me.

Gannons dressing-2

I had a moment on Monday – I think, could have been yesterday – where I reminded myself to put my big girl pants on, and just keep putting one foot in front of the other. During my sit-down with my advisor, she cautioned me that she’s starting to see me burn out, and we were talking about this blog and my other obligations. She pointed out it’s a lot. I know it is. But I don’t know how else to do it. I just keep moving forward, because stopping isn’t an option. And really, I’ve been more tired. This could be worse.

So this isn’t a complaint. This is a post saying that no matter what seems like it’s got your head underwater, and breathing is important, if only you could reach the surface… It’s not as bad as you think it is. If you just keep moving forward, you will get up high enough to be able to catch your breath. It might not be a long break, but it will come. And moving forward doesn’t always mean that you’re going in the same direction. Sometimes you have to change plans a little, move sideways to get around some fearsome obstacle.

It’s like the salad. You use what you’ve got on hand, because there’s no time to run to the store for the tomatoes and feta cheese you forgot. Fortunately, like a salad, life is full of infinite variables. If you haven’t got tomatoes now, you can get them next time. No lettuce? Spinach works too. No onion? Well, the wild onions are coming up in the yard already. (which, tangentially, may be part of my problem. I’m so ready for spring, and I often have trouble with this tail end of winter dragging on).

I’m tired. I need to study for the exam. Thank goodness Organic Chemistry doesn’t have infinite variables. I have at least a hope of remembering the Diels-Alder and the Wittig and Friedel-Crafts, although synthesis sometimes feels like too many variables.

Oh, and tomorrow, when the Dragon Noir snippet posts, that’s the 1000th post on this blog. A nice, round number. It’s taken about, oh, nine years to get there. I’ve only been doing the daily blog for about 18 months. Before that, it was when I had time and inspiration. But like the rest of my life, if I just kept trying, eventually I’d get to… something. The sixth novel. The 1000th blog post. The junior year in a STEM university program. The portfolio presentation of my very first formal art class ever. You knock down a challenge, and another one appears, but if you keep going, the rewards keep coming.