Today the Junior Mad Scientist went to college. Just to take her placement tests, now, but this does mean in a few short weeks I’ll have three kids in college. (eeeeeek!) She has been prepping for this for a month, now, but this morning I gave her a little pep talk as we drove to the school. The Ginja Ninja was going to walk her to the testing office, and hang out with her between classes. They were having fun making lunch plans and asking me for money to go to Starbucks (it’s in the college library, in a brilliant marketing move by someone). But still…
It’s not a pass or fail test, I reminded her. It’s rare, in adult life, that anything we face is pass or fail. Like her placement test, oftentimes the trials we go through only determine the course we follow afterwards. Say, a job interview. Yes, the answer is either yes, or no. But the outcome is not ‘you’ll never work’ it’s that there are other jobs in the pool – just like they say when a relationship breaks up. There are other humans on the planet. Billions of them, and somewhere there’s the one whose weirdness matches your weirdness. Failing to make this work doesn’t mean you fail, period. So relax, do your best, but remember that this isn’t a period, full stop, life ends.
If you get stuck on a problem, don’t let that stall you out. Skip it, and move on. You can either come back to it later, or you can leave it unanswered altogether (note: don’t do this in a multiple choice question). You should always, whether you’re sitting in an exam, or about to press send on an important business email, or anything like it, stop at the end, return to the beginning, and review your work. When I’m writing fiction, I try to set a completed manuscript aside for a few days and re-read with fresh eyes, but you don’t have that kind of time on a test (or even a college paper) so at least go over it quickly. What you cannot do is allow yourself to succumb to analysis paralysis. If you have half the test empty, it’s a lot worse than leaving just one question empty. Life is like that. Sometimes you have to set something aside, so you can get more done. Sure, it’s not perfect, but…
Don’t try to be perfect. I pointed out to her that no one expects her to be doing graduate-level work. She’s a highschooler. A smart one, sure, but she shouldn’t expect herself to be able to place into higher math, english, what-have-you just because. She should answer honestly, not second-guess her answers, and take what comes. Sometimes trying to be perfect is the enemy of progress. Things aren’t always ideal. We aren’t superhuman. Mistakes happen. The real learning is when we screw up, and then we take ownership of that, and fix it. This test isn’t about proving herself to anyone – it’s about learning where she fits, and working from there.
Take your time to breathe and focus. These tests aren’t timed. Even if they were, rushing into them all anxious and tight doesn’t help. Lots of things in life are terrifying, if you think about it too much. But if you focus on the task at hand, take it one question at a time, and relax, you’ll get through stuff. If you lock up in fear, that’s the only way to really fail.
Don’t worry, be happy, in the words of the song. Let your brain sing, and you’ll surprise yourself with what you can accomplish when you escape the grip of performance anxiety.
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5 responses to “Analysis Paralysis”
“Let your brain sing, and you’ll surprise yourself with what you can accomplish when you escape the grip of performance anxiety.”
That’s something I wish more people, especially youngsters, would internalize. My middle daughter wound up going to a small women’s college, and from her description, a lot of her classmates were paralyzed both by fear of failure and despair at not earning top marks. My daughter repeated to one of her classmates something I’d told her years before: “My dad told me that he liked college physics so much he took it twice!”
Her classmate was aghast. “You know, that means he failed, right?” she said.
“Yes,” my daughter replied. “And?”
I think for me going back to school as a grown woman, and a mother, made it easier in the sense I’d already learned the lesson of imperfection. My daughters haven’t yet, and it’s something I’m trying to teach them, because I don’t want them spiraling downward into the clouds every time they have a stall. Just like flying – there’s a way to pull out of it, but you need a cool head. And then I blog what I talk to them about, because really what I’m doing is a few minutes here and there, in the car, while we’re grocery shopping – you know, life. Here, I can expand on it, and hopefully help others, too.
Excellent advice learned from the school of hard knocks! I look back sometimes on the things I WISH I’d known when i was much younger…I try not to do that very often, because it isn’t helpful, really.
I do that, and then I write stuff like this. Because I can’t go back in time and make changes, but I can speak to those who are facing similar situations. Maybe they’ll listen. And sometimes it’s useful to clarify my own muddled thoughts now, so I can figure out what to do now, and in the future.
I’m sure she did fine.